Small Thoughts 5: A Neat Dining Experience

Luke and I went out to eat last night.  We went to Griffin Claw Brewing Company in Birmingham.  I have been wanting to check it out for awhile and it was great!

The tap room has communal seating, which they let you know before you even walk in the door.  So where ever you sit there is a chance that you will be sitting with strangers or that someone will join you.

Well, you know how this usually goes.  Everyone sits so they don't have to talk to anyone other than the person/people they came with (that is if they aren't on their phone the entire time).

We chose to sit in the front corner at a fairly large round table- certainly able to hold more than two people.  We watched the snow fall outside and enjoyed our beers and food.  As we were finishing, the hostess came over and asked if we minded if a couple joined us.  Of course we said they were welcome - that's the whole point of this restaurant anyways, besides the beer.  What was already a great night turned even better as we introduced ourselves to complete strangers and engaged in great conversation.  More of their friends showed up filling the table.  We only had a few sips of beer left, so we finished up and left them to their night out and passed on the table.

As we left, Luke thanked the hostess for having the communal seating.  She thanked him for being a good sport about it.  I laughed... They must have a problem with people being able to sit with strangers and enjoy a meal (way to go America).  It was great to enjoy our time together and also be able to chat with new people.

We will definitely be going back and recommending that others visit with an open mind!

A Hard Life Lesson

I know it's early, but it's here.  The snow has been really beautiful the last few days.  Large fluffy flakes slowly falling from the sky.  I love the first snow fall, it's so romantic.  And the silence that the snow brings is so relaxing.  I got home last night as the snow was coming down hard, after having a lousy day I rustled my crew and we went on a long walk to enjoy the beauty and take in some fresh air.  

I think one of the hardest lessons to learn in life is that we can't change people.  So many times we feel the need to address a situation by telling people how they are- or telling them how they made you feel, or that their behavior makes them look bad (hoping by telling them that they will change for the better).  Truth is- No one can make you feel any way and people aren't going to change unless they choose to.  This one is hard for me, especially when I notice negative things that don't truly reflect who I think a person is.  Wouldn't you want me to tell you if you were acting or saying things that didn't make you look good?  Well, I hate to say it, all too often you end up telling someone until you are blue in the face, and it just doesn't matter.  You can't change anyone.  The only thing you can control is the way you respond and conduct yourself.  It's hard, really hard.  Especially when you believe that your intentions to help are good by saying something.

I've always been a fixer, wanting to help people be better versions of themselves because I know it's there... under the surface of the hurt, or sadness, or aggressiveness.  But I'm learning that it's not for me to fix.  If someone wants to act a certain way, that is their choice.  I need to be focusing all of my energies on how to effectively handle and react on my end.  I am the only one I can control.  And it's so much easier to make my decisions based on me and not based around how other's choose to behave.

I saw this yesterday.  Franki Elliot is a writer/poet that travels with her typewriter and writes poems for people on the spot, based on a word or phrase they give her.  She is amazing.  (And this is just credit where credit is due... nothing official - I just really like what she has to say)

And so I did just that.

Enjoy the snow.

Small Thoughts 4: To Know Your Worth

Knowing your worth is one thing, but being told you are actually worth that is a total game changer. (And I'm not just talking money worth)

Whatever your job is - teacher, artist, mother, CEO - You want to know you are valued and appreciated.  It can be really difficult to do the work you love with passion if you are feeling the opposite.  For me, I feel the need to stray.  To look for new opportunities where I will matter and find satisfaction.  When we start to feel unhappy we look for the place/things that will change that.

To know that others value you as much as you know you are worth, is a great feeling.

I hope you know you matter.

Making Excuses

Awhile back I convinced myself that I no longer liked running. I have run on and off my entire life.  Never been much for competitive running or races, just running for myself.  Always seemed like the easiest way for me to stay in shape.

But I had decided I didn't like running anymore.  That it was boring, too much work to get ready.  Oh, and the dog… I take her because otherwise I feel guilty- but she is a royal pain in the ass when she is on a leash (and we are trying, so very hard to break her… but its not working).  It's much easier to not go for a run.

All really, really good excuses why not to run.

But honestly, it only takes 5 minutes to get ready, and the dog is stuck in the house all day, so she needs some fun too (even if she is an idiot).  And yes, it is boring - even with music, because I choose to take the same route over and over again…

I need to change it up.  Being outside is really a lot better than staring at a wall and running on a treadmill (and paying gobs of money for a gym membership), or sitting on the couch staring at the tv.

I chose to suck it up and go for a run yesterday.  It was short, but I did it.  I made the effort to take time for myself before I went back to working for the evening.  And I didn't feel bad about it.  I am my own boss and it's ok to take time for myself before I do anything for anyone else.  Because what good am I to others if I'm no good to myself? 

I wrote this about a week ago and I haven't gone for a run since :) Maybe I'll go today 

Small Thoughts: 3

My little brother taught me something recently (I don't think he even realized it).  There is a level of love and acceptance that is coming from people his age that should be noted.

We often try to one-up each others experiences, or tell others that what they have done/experienced is "nothing compared to...".  Why do we do this?

I often find myself observing and listening to conversations, rather than participating.  A young man had mentioned his experience with sailing and how he had only been a few times- nothing major.  But he said he really enjoyed it and couldn't wait to go more.  The older, saltier adults of the group proceeded to tell this young man that what he had done so far was nothing - that his sailing experiences couldn't compare.  Out of all the people sitting there - cruisers, racers - my brother probably had the most experience.  But regardless, I watched as he embraced this young mans exposure to sailing.  Not trying to diminish his story, but told him to keep going and experiencing it.  

My brother taught me that it's not about how much you've done something, or where you've done something.  It's that you're out there doing it and experiencing new things.  Seeing the light from a different angle and embracing each others stories from where they are at and where they've started could be a game changer for the way we treat each other.

Be encouraging, not discouraging.

Small Thoughts: 2

I'm sitting here in my car writing this… yes, my wifi reaches to the driveway!  I didn't want to let these thoughts get away from me.

I'm sure we've all had close calls.  Quick moments that we wish wouldn't have happened, even though, thankfully nothing really did happen.  But it almost did and it would have been really, really bad.  I get mad at myself that something could have happened, the what-ifs (especially if it would have been my fault).  I always have to remind myself to let it go.  It's ok, we're ok.

Someone was watching out for me…

It can be hard not to get upset or mad when there is almost an accident, the adrenaline gets pumping and you start to think of all the awful repercussions.  But you have to stop, tell yourself none of that is going to happen because everything is fine.

Move on.  Let it go.

Falling...

I love fall.  There are so many beautiful changes -- color, temperature, new school year for the kiddos, bon fires, and pumpkin flavored everything.  I've always loved fall, going from shorts to warm sweaters and boots, the desire to bake and cook savory, comforting foods.

For the last month I have been going so hard that I've been missing out on the little things.  I've been rushing through life, instead of taking the time to slow down and notice.

A couple weeks ago I was very busy and feeling really stressed from having to constantly working so I didn't fall behind.  It was a Thursday evening and I had worked until 4 at my day job, took an hour to myself to go climb with a friend (which relieved no stress at all), flew home to continue working until 8pm.  I then cleaned the house so that it wasn't left a mess for the weekend, and when I was finally able to try and stop for the night I realized the dog hadn't been walked -- or rather I was reminded by my darling partner that the dog hadn't been walked (to his defense he had just walked in the door as well)… I threw on some shoes, and walked the dog… walking fast and pissed (because I really just wanted to sit my ass on the couch)… so fast I got a blister.  I realized as I rounded the corner towards my house, that I had spent the entire walk feeling mad and hurried.  When I could have been enjoying the darkness of the night and feeling the cool air on my face.  I could have used the time to unwind and relax- take a leisurely stroll around the neighborhood and spend time in silence.  But instead I rushed though it, when really I had nothing that important to get home to.  I was so wrapped up in all the stress that had started to consume my life that I forgot to slow down.

Things have since gotten better, the stress is lessening.  I woke up this morning wanting to stay home.  Spend my day sewing, cooking, and catching up on all the projects I have put off for way too long.  I woke up telling myself, "oh you don't feel good, you should stay home".  But then I heard my parents, "suck it up, it's all in your head.  You're fine".  And really, I was fine- I was just looking for a good excuse to stay home.  Because taking a personal day to "just have time to myself" doesn't seem like that good of a reason in my book.  So I went to work.

It's hard to stop and take time for myself, to do the things I want to do.  There are so many other things that seem to take priority (and I don't even have kids!).  Work, housekeeping, making sure others are happy.  I can't take care of all of those things though if I can't make time to take care of myself…

I need an extra day… one more day in the weekend, just for me.