A Hard Life Lesson

I know it's early, but it's here.  The snow has been really beautiful the last few days.  Large fluffy flakes slowly falling from the sky.  I love the first snow fall, it's so romantic.  And the silence that the snow brings is so relaxing.  I got home last night as the snow was coming down hard, after having a lousy day I rustled my crew and we went on a long walk to enjoy the beauty and take in some fresh air.  

I think one of the hardest lessons to learn in life is that we can't change people.  So many times we feel the need to address a situation by telling people how they are- or telling them how they made you feel, or that their behavior makes them look bad (hoping by telling them that they will change for the better).  Truth is- No one can make you feel any way and people aren't going to change unless they choose to.  This one is hard for me, especially when I notice negative things that don't truly reflect who I think a person is.  Wouldn't you want me to tell you if you were acting or saying things that didn't make you look good?  Well, I hate to say it, all too often you end up telling someone until you are blue in the face, and it just doesn't matter.  You can't change anyone.  The only thing you can control is the way you respond and conduct yourself.  It's hard, really hard.  Especially when you believe that your intentions to help are good by saying something.

I've always been a fixer, wanting to help people be better versions of themselves because I know it's there... under the surface of the hurt, or sadness, or aggressiveness.  But I'm learning that it's not for me to fix.  If someone wants to act a certain way, that is their choice.  I need to be focusing all of my energies on how to effectively handle and react on my end.  I am the only one I can control.  And it's so much easier to make my decisions based on me and not based around how other's choose to behave.

I saw this yesterday.  Franki Elliot is a writer/poet that travels with her typewriter and writes poems for people on the spot, based on a word or phrase they give her.  She is amazing.  (And this is just credit where credit is due... nothing official - I just really like what she has to say)

And so I did just that.

Enjoy the snow.