We're Getting Married!

After 6 and a half years, Luke proposed!  It was so perfect and intimate, and the ring is Whoa!

So here's the story:

I knew he was in the process of designing a ring (with a local artist we found), but I didn't know when he was going to propose or what it was going to look like.  I could never make up my mind on a style, so he just took all the ideas he liked and the few criteria I had (delicate, not too big, and I didn't want it to stick up very high) and created the most amazing ring I have ever seen.  It is way more than I could have ever imagined, and so special because of the thought he put into it.

Admiring it, of course :)

I knew he was going to ask my dad for permission, hah but I only knew when it was happening because my dad asked me why Luke wanted to meet for breakfast Thursday morning at 7am before we went up north for the weekend (nothing like last minute).  Nothing is sacred in the Ruggles family… :)

So all day Thursday and Friday morning Luke was telling me that it wasn't going to happen this weekend because the ring didn't end up getting finished.  It wasn't ready.  I, of course, didn't believe him because I figured he was just trying to fake me out.  I'm only dumb sometimes :)  So Friday morning, I finally started to believe that it wasn't happening.  Fine with it, we went about our day.  We were in Elk Rapids for the weekend staying on the boat, and we needed beer and sandwiches for the beach.  So we started to drive to the grocery store to pick up the necessities and he pulled into the parking lot of the Dam Beach (our favorite spot).  I was like "what are you doing?" (but I knew),  "why do you keep messing with me"- and I think I said that over and over again before we got out of the car and as we walked down the pier.  I was near tears as we got out of the car (because, come on, I knew it was going to happen), but I held it in and went along with the "charade" :)

We walked down the pier and he started saying all the sweet things.  There were people on the pier so we walked down onto the sand, along the water to be alone.

And then he got down on one knee and asked me to be his wife.  And of course, I said YES!  It was the perfect moment – just the two of us.

And then we went to the grocery store :)

So happy!  Celebrating that night at Pearls

So there you have it.  It was perfect and we are so grateful for all of the love and support we have received since last Friday.

E.R. sunflower fields the next day 

Now if I could just get my head to stop spinning from all these thoughts of wedding planning…More on that later ;)

Easing into Monday

We had the best weekend ever!  At least, the best weekend so far this summer.  We went Up North to the boat, and the weather was incredible.  Clear blue skies, crystal clear water (and pretty warm too), and the perfect little breeze.

Sunday started out cloudy with a few sprinkles, but turned into the most magnificent day.

I'm sure we aren't alone when we often spend Sunday agonizing over how close Monday is.  But yesterday we lived a little, gave Monday the cold shoulder.  As the day turned into the most perfect of days, we looked at each other and knew we couldn't waste it in the car driving home and then sitting around feeling sorry that Monday was just around the corner.  So we spent the day on the beach with family.  Swimming, laughing, relaxing – not even thinking about Monday.  It was just how every Sunday is supposed to be spent.

5:30 rolled around and we dragged ourselves off the beach to head home.  Completely relaxed and sun kissed.  The drive isn't so bad when you're full of peace and happiness.  We got home after dark and just made it to the ice cream shop.  Because why wouldn't you end the most perfect day with a little frozen treat?

Satisfied and sleepy, we crawled into bed and drifted off.  I didn't wake up once- that never happens.  Woke up this morning, and it was actually easy to get up.  Still relaxed and totally cool going into the new week.

So, Monday-schmunday.  Have a great week!

Cabana Izzy- She swam so much she could barely keep her eyes open

This guy- best day ever

Whoa, I'm in China!

I arrived in China on Tuesday night- so it was Tuesday morning for most of you reading this.  It is very different here.  I am not in a big city like Beijing or Shanghai.  I am in a big industrial city, out in the rural parts of China.  And I would imagine it is quite different.

I have been recording all of my thoughts as I have them, because I don't want to forget anything.  I am here on business, but there have been quite a few car rides that have given me the opportunity to see different areas.

It's pretty much a stream of consciousness.  Enjoy!

Made it to Hong Kong.  My driver does not speak english, and it is hotter than hell.  Definitely a shock when I stepped out of the airport.  In Michigan, we build up to these types of temperatures and high humidity… But coming here was like a slap in the face.

Currently driving on the wrong side of the road, but on the correct (for US) side of the car.  I can't see anything.  There are trees blocking any sort of views from the roadway.

Palm trees.  Mountains?  I really wish it was daylight.  It looks so beautiful.  I will know on the way home.

Also- note to self: Hong Kong immigration officers do not smile or say hello (I did anyway)

An entire truck on fire.  Burning rubber.  Never seen that before…

So I still can't believe I am in China.  Alone.  Doing this all by myself.  I'm fortunate to have these experiences!

Now we are back on the right side of the road!  It switches here.  Something smells….

Driving is so different in the day.  There are no lanes (well there are but they must just be for decoration), it is a free for all.  They all honk to let others know they are there.  They must not use their mirrors.  But it is pretty amazing the way everything works in this chaotic yet cooperative way.  You think you are going to hit someone, or someone is going to hit you, but then they stop.  Or you do.  And they just pull out in front of each other, or get so close as if to mark their spot.

So hot. So so hot.  Went into the factory, and it was treacherous.  I don't know how those people stand in there every day in the blistering heat.  I need a shower already (10-11am).  I can't remember the last time i've sweat this much in such a short amount of time.  I'm sure it is all because of the humidity.  It was blue sky this morning and I thought, "oh, not much smog today".  Wrong, the sky is more and more yellow/grey as the day goes on and the heat builds.  Probably a thunderstorm this afternoon.  It is that time of year.

So everyone sleeps at their desks after lunch… and I need the restroom….hmm.  1:30pm- they play a song (similar to Taps) over the loud speaker to wake everyone up.  Very controlled.  I wonder if they have this to wake up in the morning too (they have dormitories a few floors up from their offices)

Let's just take a minute to talk about the toilets.  I forgot about this minor detail, and just had a real shock when I walked into the WC (water closet).  They are in the floor.  Oh, but they have plumbing.  2 things- Don't step in the toilet, and don't pee on yourself.  That is all. 

They use bamboo scaffolding still (everything is under construction), all the workers appear to wear Croc-like shoes.

I like riding in the car best, lots to see, and of course it is a thrill.

So far I have had traditional Chinese, Thai, and Korean food.  The Chinese food is good, but not much flavor (I like the way they prepare the tofu and they have eggs that are like an omelet).  I think I have liked the Thai food the best. It closely resembles the Chinese food we have in America (in some ways). The Korean food was really spicy, but there were a few things I liked.  However, dog meat was on the menu and that threw me a little.  And then of course, a dog escaped from the back of the restaurant.  It was little, but meaty.  It had a collar on, however, I couldn't help but wonder if it was tomorrow's special. Poor thing was cute. 

I got to experience a Chinese massage and it was so relaxing. The woman told me I was too tense, but that I had nice skin lol.  She twisted and yanked on me and got my back to crack in ways I didn't know possible. It felt so good. 

My chop stick skills are on par according to my colleagues. They were quite impressed by my form. They have adapted to a different way of holding them for ease and comfort. I didn't know that there were different chop sticks for different countries. Korea has flat ones that are really heavy- hard to use. Japan's are short and thick and really pointy at the end- also hard to use. So the Chinese and Thai ones have been the best. I can even pick up a peanut! (I was told most of them just use a fork for those lol)

Had Japanese food for dinner tonight! It was all very good. I'm really enjoying trying all of the food. The company was great too 😉

Just a few more days and I will be on my way home! There might be another post from my quick visit to Hong Kong tomorrow. 

That Hospital Feeling…

** This was written Thursday evening.  Unsure of what Friday would bring

Hi Friends, I'm glad to be here.  Logging in is like a breath of fresh air, getting these thoughts out.

Hospitals are necessary (and good).  But regardless of why you are there, there is always a nervous air about.  Whether it's passing a man who wears a nervous smile in the cafeteria (he's getting coffee and about to become a dad), or loved ones huddled together, faces damp.  Or maybe you're going for news… good news, bad news.  I can't help but feel uneasy every time I walk into a hospital.

I was in one today.  I tried to notice people and their demeanor, something to take my mind off of everything else.  And I attempted a half smile at people I made eye contact with.  There was a trend, exhaustion and nervousness.  You can know someone all your life, go to see them in a hospital and have no idea what to say.  I have this problem.  Don't get too close (for fear of bumping something or breaking something), don't pry (even though I would love to know what the heck is really going on), and heaven forbid I can remember anything at all to talk about that is normal and from the outside world.  Because all that really matters is your person, and the fact that they are in this place when it's not where they belong (except the maternity ward-I like to believe that's mostly a happy place).

I really struggled for a while going to hospitals and doctor's offices.  Anxiety, like the kind where the room closes in and you better put your head between your legs or you're going to end up on the floor.  I did ok tonight, though.

Hospitals are good places.  We are born in them usually.  But it's kind of crazy that so much of the life cycle can happen right under one roof.

I've never dealt with the loss of an immediate family member.  I've lost great aunts and uncles which was hard.  And too many young people i've known, have been taken too soon.  But I think I might be there now.  Staring someone I love's death right in the face.  Watching, as it takes a loved one's last breath.  About to go through it, because I can't let it stop me and I can't stop it.  I've always tried to have a "positive" (I don't know what else to call it, death is never positive) outlook on death.  To focus on the amazing memories and know they are no longer in pain or suffering.  It's an unfortunate fact of our existence.  We won't be here forever.  We will see new loved ones enter this precious life, and we will see others go to the next.  Nobody wants to see anyone suffer, but it can be tough when it all happens so fast.

I guess all you can do is hope for the best and try to face reality.

Peace of Mind Designs: Grand Opening!

You guys!  I have something very exciting to share with you!  But first, let me say….

I have always wanted to start my own business showcasing my art and designs.  I already have a small freelance business with a few clients, but wanted to create goods that anyone could buy and use.  I can't tell you how many concepts and ideas that I have come up with, but have abandoned somewhere along the road to "small business success".  I think the thing that has been holding me back is this idea in my head that I had to create, produce, market, and sell every item all on my own.  I love creating the designs and making things by hand, but all of the past ideas seemed to stop at the production part.  I always became overwhelmed at that point because I never knew how I was going to make all of the goods in order to sell them by myself.

I have decided to focus on creating beautiful designs and being a good shop owner.

I would like to introduce you to Peace of Mind Designs, my new shop featuring my designs printed on tees, tanks, mugs, and totes!  I will be adding new items frequently and will always be working on creating new design collections.

I have chosen high quality goods that are all made in the United States and sweatshop free, and the printing is done here in the US too!

The debut designs are all hand drawn Mandalas.  Mandala is Sanskrit for "Circle" and symbolizes unity and harmony.  All of my designs and goods will promote a peaceful and meaningful lifestyle.

I can't wait to see where this journey takes me and I am so grateful for your support!  As always, if you have any feedback, or would like to see a certain product please don't hesitate to contact me!  If you would like to sell Peace of Mind Designs in your own shop or studio, please contact me for information on placing larger orders (and for customization).

I will be posting updates on Facebook (go like the page!) and you can get behind-the-scenes peeks on my Instagram (@snuggs22).  There is also a new button in the menu on my blog that will take you to the storefront, or click the button on the right side!

Now go check out the goods!

Small Thoughts 8: Ice Cream for Breakfast

I ate a Snickers ice cream bar for breakfast today.  It was a good choice, maybe not the healthiest- but damn, it was tasty.

I have been faced with a lot of decisions to make lately.  Pretty important ones and not easy.  It's funny how when we are presented with a new opportunity, we start to evaluate our current situations differently.  It can open our eyes to seeing things as they are, instead of focusing on the negative or what we perceived them to be. I know I tend to get caught up in the monotony of daily life and forget to look at all of the ways in which I benefit from what I have and the lifestyle I have grown accustom to.

The grass isn't always greener folks.  Sometimes the shadows on our own lawn make things seem dull and boring, when really our grass is softer and more lush than the other (with only an occasional brown spot).

Life is what you make of it.  There is always a way to turn the mundane into the magnificent.  Don't let it bring you down. Choose what makes you happy.

Musings of a little green book

I finished a small notebook today.  I use one every day.  I make a daily to do list and then fill the pages with whatever else is needed to get me through the day.  Affirmations, doodles, hand-lettering, quotes, shopping lists, etc.  I've used up a lot of pens with these little books.  I thought it would be fun to share some of the things I have written down- especially the things I don't want to forget.

The date on the first page of this book is 1-19-2015 (not a very big book)

Why are Tuesdays so hard?  I'm always feeling down about my life... I AM HAPPY!! I AM!  Because I choose to be – there is no other way!  We are taught to believe that things/people/jobs will make us happy... Nothing can make you happy.  All those things are just excuses why or why not to be happy.  Happy is a state of mind, not a tangible thing.  It is a choice.  No excuses.

snow, snow, snow

have I told you how awful this is?  Why can't I do what I want? I hate sitting here!

GRATITUDE

just keep going ––>

I feel pretty annoyed... but complaining won't get me anywhere!  Suck it up and deal with it, or do something about it.

PEACE

need to write,
need to bleed,
need to breathe.
– repeat –

the warmth of the waves
fills my soul
the ebb & flow, near and far
living life in hopes & dreams
ignoring reality – it's not real
i live in a sea of my hopes and dreams
the desire to go... to feel, to be.

"little by little one travels far" – J.R.R. Tolkein

"writing is a way of talking without being interrupted" – Jules Renard

 LOVE always

I need to believe that what I'm doing matters – and it will.

happy LIVING

make a lovely life

I keep writing happy things with hopes that i'll believe it

RESILIENCE

Get comfortable being uncomfortable!

{I love you little, I love you big...}

STRONGER THAN THAT

hurry up time...i gotta go
i want to go
sitting here, tasks complete,
mind blank.
other things i'd rather do, 
make, create, write
refresh, refresh, refresh
clicking in hopes of something new
nothing – nothing ever
mind numb, wandering deeper
into darkness
worthless, useless; words 
fill my thoughts
Be happy with nothing
boredom is hard, tiring,
crippling
I want more, i need more.
Nothing.

_____

Sometimes I think you don't
understand me.
You've failed to know the deeper
parts of me.
Why go on?
The dreams I dream,
the compassion.
Wanderlust and exploration
How do I know I'm not settling?
If I fear I have, does that mean I did?
Treading harder, can't see
the shore.

Tuesday, snooze-day

I just want to sit with my dog and let life happen.
(I don't want to sit in an office chair my whole life)

I wish it was summer so I could sit outside with Izzy and enjoy the sun on my face

LOVE U

I need more hours in a Thursday :) More hours for me...

The wind in my sails
the flow of the ocean waves
give life to my soul

Haiku
mood poem
5
7  } Syllables
5

Hello sunshine

I got this!

The waves
The tides of love

This is lame, longest day ever
bored
I hate you
hurry up time...

Like the waves on the sea
your touch flows over me
the wind in the sails
your breath on my skin
the way your eyes twinkle
in the light,
like the sun sparkles on the water
you are my tide
wash over me

Hello sunshine, come into my life!

can't stop, won't stop

Hello honey

18 days

I love you

I'm getting good at this...

Let's make things

Wednesday (that means tomorrow's Thursday!)

"doubt is just success testing your spirit" – [WRDSMTH]

Own Out... Business is separate from myself.
-Adopt manners that work for business and not life. Owning out gives the confidence to demand and persist. 
Relentless = Results I want.
company is separate from me [makes "no" + rejection not so hard]
(my notes from an interview I read HERE

I just want to make all the pretty stuff

How do you make time pass?  You fill the page

Hello Lovely.

Bring yourself above. Choose Happy.


So there you have it!  A little over a month's worth of ramblings.  But let me tell you, these little words often save me.  Writing things helps to cement them in my mind and soul, making it easier to live them.  It is pretty fun to look back and read them all, to compile them like this (rather manic too ;) ).  Perhaps I'll keep it up.  Oh, and anything that isn't quoted is original by yours truly.  I've been trying my heart at poetry – it's cool.

A Letter to My 16 Year Old Self

I began a writing challenge today (see the new section!). 30 days of writing, every day. I'm pretty excited, but filled with some anxieties as well.  I thought a lot about this letter before I started to write it, afraid of missing something important (because it's a big deal writing to your former self).  I forced myself to stop worrying and pick up the pen.

*A letter to my 16 (going on 17) year old self. I was a junior in high school.

Dear Sara,

Such a good kid, always playing by the rules. How's your first relationship going? It's been over a year since mom and dad got divorced. Look at how strong you've been through the whole thing! I want you to know that crying is not a sign of weakness. It's ok if you don't cry now, because you will eventually- A Lot! I know he doesn't say it much, but he still loves you and always will. Talk to him- your fears, questions, and anger matter.

I wish I could protect you and warn you from all of the things to come. But let me tell you what I've learned:

I know you're close to moving away to college, taking your first steps into adulthood....

On Love- Know the difference between love and lust- it will make all the difference, and I know you will figure it out quick. Love is not about receiving. It's about giving from your own "stash" of love that you have for yourself, and hoping it comes back around (and if it doesn't, well at least you love yourself first). If you always love yourself- truly and deeply- you can love another person. Follow your heart and use your intellect, and stick to your guns. Oh, and please don't sleep with too many people.

On Friendship- The friends you have now won't be the same ones you have in 10 years. Heartbreaking, right? Yea, a little. People come and go and you'll always have memories and good times. Hold onto those, they are worth all the time you spent making them. Even if the friendship fades, don't lose the memories. I know it will be hard, but please try not to let a guy come between you and your BFFs. If you do, just learn from the mistake and try to find a balance. Nurture the friendships you have at any given time in your life. There will be times where you feel friendless and alone – just remember someone else is feeling the same way. Reach out to people! And you always have your little brother, don't ever take him for granted (no matter how much he bugs you, it's just because he loves you).

On Money & Things- You don't need all the stuff you think you do. Trust me, you will spend the better part of your twenties trying to simplify. And when it comes to borrowing money for school, because that's what you're going to have to do, only take enough for tuition! Figure out the rest some other way.

On Career Choices- You are going to be great at whatever you do! Let me save you a few bucks and several years by letting you in on a secret – you want to be a creator and designer, a maker and writer. Don't worry about always feeling like you haven't made the right choice, you're a dreamer and your veins are filled with wanderlust. Be confident in your decisions and give it your all. Fill your time with meaningful doings and thoughts, and never give up.

On Life- Live for you, today! Money, marriage, kids, etc., don't bring happiness (and please don't do the latter two just because everyone else is...). You have to choose to be happy! No matter how dark the days seem, it's not as bad as you think. Despite what everyone tells you, I know you will do life your own way and live and learn. Mom and dad will cringe (hell, you'll probably look back and cringe too), but you will turn out ok. Better than ok.

I have a lot of respect for you dear 16 year old Sara. We've always had our head on pretty straight. I could write to you forever, but always remember:

Love yourself, choose happiness, be creative, and live a simple and honest life. And watch out for those boys :)

I love you to the moon and back,
Your Older Self


If you've never done an exercise like this, you should.

Small Thoughts 7: Life Resolutions

I'm not calling these "new year's resolutions"... I'm calling them Life resolutions.  Less pressure.

I wasn't going to post my goals for 2015 and beyond; but if I don't, then how will anyone ever know if I actually did them!?  Accountability, people (and self discipline - which should be a list of it's own).

The first check box is a book that was introduced to me by my dad that guides you in using your intellect to control your mind (emotions) and knowledge (in a nutshell- see, I need to read it again).  It's a quick read full of great methods of living your life Self-aware and controlling what has an impact.

My goal is to live more simply and to go through life with a kind and calm demeanor.  More patience on the road, and less swearing.

I wrote this back at the beginning of December.  I figured, why wait.  I am in a new role at work and it's good to start out strong and be able to stay strong.  I have already checked the regain confidence box, but it's always a work-in-progress.

Those quotes are good too.  Love the Ziggy Marley one.  So often we say "I love you" but it isn't backed by actions, or it just becomes an empty habit.  I had a hard time with this when I was younger.  The words provide the validation that we seek from those around us, but really we should be paying more attention to what we are doing and what others are showing us.

And da Vinci... well he was pretty much awesome.... so excuse me while I go happen to things.

I'll try to write more about the things on my list as I tackle them.  It's a win-win.  More blog posts for you to read, and I get to actually stick to some life resolutions.

Small Thoughts 6: Living in a Haze

I'm going to skip all the New Years stuff... I'd say the rest of you have covered it.  My goal is to live simple and be happy.  I'll figure it out as I go.

I haven't had coffee the past three days.  Last night I slept fast. Morning came too soon.  Either lack of coffee, or sleeping in my old bed due to Luke having a cold and snoring all night.  I'm not sure.  But today I can barely keep my eyes open.  I feel exhausted.  I took vitamins and a B complex to try and wake up.  But all I want to do is crawl back into bed.  I need to move, but there is nothing to do.  So here I sit.  I thought things were going to be different?  When will the pace pick up?

To me it seems boring - my everyday life.  But maybe it's my thoughts that will be interesting.  Like above- any interest? Or totally boring?  I guess those weren't really thoughts, but more of a sleepy stream of somewhat-consciousness.

I have every intention of eating clean and making it a habit, hence the no coffee... but last night's ranch, pasta concoction wasn't quite hitting the mark... huh.

Also, I think I'm done with the Facebook.  So if you want to keep reading these, ya better subscribe.  Or you can find me on Instagram @snuggs22.  I'll try to be more present there, more than I am on Facebook anyway.