Positive Dreams and Wedding Things

I'm totally a poet 👆🏽

So I felt like I needed to write this because I was so excited to have been given this sign, and maybe it will help someone else.

I received confirmation in the form of a dream last night that thinking positive thoughts and not making up stress really works.  I had a dream about our wedding ceremony- which is only two weeks away!

It was the most beautiful dream.  So much emotion and love- neither of us could get through our vows without tears.  Afterwards, everyone couldn't stop talking about the most amazing feeling and how great it was to be witness to so much love.

I can only hope our wedding day is like that! (I'm pretty sure it will be 😊)

You're probably thinking- wow, for real?  I'm so stressed out about my wedding, or man, I was stressed out two weeks before my wedding.  Is she just saying that, or is she really this zen about it?

Don't get me wrong- I've had my moments.  But guess what I've figured out- Wedding stress is a stereotype.  People/women think they have to be stressed out when they are planning/approaching their wedding.  There are so many of those memes and e-card things pointing out how stressful a wedding is, and yes they're funny, but I think they secretly get lost in our heads and end up become a reality. So many people have asked how I'm doing with everything and how the planning is going.  Guys, it's great.  Like really- I'm prepared, everything is pretty much ready and I've got a relaxing week up north on the boat ahead of me before the big day.

Here's the trick- No one or thing can make you stressed out.  You get to choose.  And this goes with anything in life- not just weddings.  Often times we/I create stress in my head for things that haven't even happened.  Isn't that what planning a wedding day is mostly about?  Creating and preparing for this perfect day/image and being damned if it doesn't go that way and worrying about it along the way?

Nope! This is supposed to be the best frikken day of your life so far.  Why ruin it and the process with stress and disappointment?

I have tried to be so purposefully positive with my thoughts and actions throughout this whole planning process.  It's really helped me in all areas of my life.  I've held onto the intention that it is not about what the day looks like, but what it feels like.  Anytime I start to feel anxious or start creating stress, I remind myself that it's about how the day feels and that those little cocktail napkins really don't matter.  And I say out loud, "Stop creating stress for things that haven't even happened yet".  If I don't stress about them now, then I won't stress about them when they do or don't happen because I won't be worried about how things are supposed to go.

I believe the positivity has shown through in other ways too- especially in those around us.

We are surrounded by so many people who love each other.  I knew these people loved each other before because they're married, or in committed relationships... But now I've really seen it.  The unconditional love and unwavering commitments to each other.  It's so beautiful.  And we are so blessed to have these examples as we enter into our own life long commitments of love and togetherness.   Friends, family, even the outward expression of love from people we barely know.  It has effected me and opened my eyes to the rawness and reality of what it means to spend the rest of your life with someone.  And I wouldn't choose anyone else to take this step with.  You don't realize how amazing marriage really is until it's about to become a reality.  Having a wedding and marriage is so much more than the flowers, dress, invitations, etc.  It's about community and family- about being surrounded by those who support your commitment; and together, declare it in front of God that they will be there to support you and guide you through the awesome and scary times, judgement free.

The outpouring of love and support that we have received from family and friends is unexplainable.  You never realize how many people truly have your back and are rooting for you.  The positive support and encouragement means more than anything.

Anyway, we are so excited for the next two weeks.  And totally cool as a couple cucumbers.  Nobody wants to be a bridezilla- stress is optional 😘

Lots of love-
Your favorite zen bride 😉✌🏽

PS- I think a lot of people realize these things after they're married and pass along the advice to future brides- but it totally helps if you realize this (on your own) before the wedding 👍🏽

Changing My Silent Moments

Happy New Year!

I am on a journey.

The other day I had a thought.  I think I was driving and had probably just been cut off, and instead of getting mad and thinking about it for the rest of the drive, I let it go and thought of this:

I often find myself sitting in silence and not using those silent moments for good.  Whether it is at work, during a pause in a conversation (which can be awkward, but it doesn't have to be), driving, etc.  What do you do with your thoughts in those moments?  I know it is so easy to allow complaints or negative thoughts to come in, or feel sorry for someone.  I do this- I don't necessarily say them out loud, but I sit around and wallow or re-hash old happenings.

I've become a believer in "putting it out there".  Putting my positive thoughts and hopes out into the universe to manifest into what it is they are supposed to become.  The saying "what goes around comes around" is REAL.  My thought is that if I am positively sending good things out, specific or not, that it will be received by those it's supposed to.

So I was thinking, what if I took those silent moments and deliberately thought positive thoughts.  Whether it's about the person I am with, sending them good energy and love in that moment.  Or positive thoughts to a situation that may not have been so positive when it was happening- changing the way I look at it and feel about it.  It was brought to my attention that often things or people that enter my life are a "mirror" and I know it is my choice how I learn from them, and of course, react.

I have been very aware and open to admitting to my negative and not so kind moments, it is the only way I am going to become the person I want to be.  And it is hard.  It is a practice, and requires diligence and constant awareness.  But it's pretty cool too.  I want all the good vibes, and I want them to come from me!

"All that we are is the result of what we have thought" -Buddha

We're Getting Married!

After 6 and a half years, Luke proposed!  It was so perfect and intimate, and the ring is Whoa!

So here's the story:

I knew he was in the process of designing a ring (with a local artist we found), but I didn't know when he was going to propose or what it was going to look like.  I could never make up my mind on a style, so he just took all the ideas he liked and the few criteria I had (delicate, not too big, and I didn't want it to stick up very high) and created the most amazing ring I have ever seen.  It is way more than I could have ever imagined, and so special because of the thought he put into it.

Admiring it, of course :)

I knew he was going to ask my dad for permission, hah but I only knew when it was happening because my dad asked me why Luke wanted to meet for breakfast Thursday morning at 7am before we went up north for the weekend (nothing like last minute).  Nothing is sacred in the Ruggles family… :)

So all day Thursday and Friday morning Luke was telling me that it wasn't going to happen this weekend because the ring didn't end up getting finished.  It wasn't ready.  I, of course, didn't believe him because I figured he was just trying to fake me out.  I'm only dumb sometimes :)  So Friday morning, I finally started to believe that it wasn't happening.  Fine with it, we went about our day.  We were in Elk Rapids for the weekend staying on the boat, and we needed beer and sandwiches for the beach.  So we started to drive to the grocery store to pick up the necessities and he pulled into the parking lot of the Dam Beach (our favorite spot).  I was like "what are you doing?" (but I knew),  "why do you keep messing with me"- and I think I said that over and over again before we got out of the car and as we walked down the pier.  I was near tears as we got out of the car (because, come on, I knew it was going to happen), but I held it in and went along with the "charade" :)

We walked down the pier and he started saying all the sweet things.  There were people on the pier so we walked down onto the sand, along the water to be alone.

And then he got down on one knee and asked me to be his wife.  And of course, I said YES!  It was the perfect moment – just the two of us.

And then we went to the grocery store :)

So happy!  Celebrating that night at Pearls

So there you have it.  It was perfect and we are so grateful for all of the love and support we have received since last Friday.

E.R. sunflower fields the next day 

Now if I could just get my head to stop spinning from all these thoughts of wedding planning…More on that later ;)

Easing into Monday

We had the best weekend ever!  At least, the best weekend so far this summer.  We went Up North to the boat, and the weather was incredible.  Clear blue skies, crystal clear water (and pretty warm too), and the perfect little breeze.

Sunday started out cloudy with a few sprinkles, but turned into the most magnificent day.

I'm sure we aren't alone when we often spend Sunday agonizing over how close Monday is.  But yesterday we lived a little, gave Monday the cold shoulder.  As the day turned into the most perfect of days, we looked at each other and knew we couldn't waste it in the car driving home and then sitting around feeling sorry that Monday was just around the corner.  So we spent the day on the beach with family.  Swimming, laughing, relaxing – not even thinking about Monday.  It was just how every Sunday is supposed to be spent.

5:30 rolled around and we dragged ourselves off the beach to head home.  Completely relaxed and sun kissed.  The drive isn't so bad when you're full of peace and happiness.  We got home after dark and just made it to the ice cream shop.  Because why wouldn't you end the most perfect day with a little frozen treat?

Satisfied and sleepy, we crawled into bed and drifted off.  I didn't wake up once- that never happens.  Woke up this morning, and it was actually easy to get up.  Still relaxed and totally cool going into the new week.

So, Monday-schmunday.  Have a great week!

Cabana Izzy- She swam so much she could barely keep her eyes open

This guy- best day ever

Whoa, I'm in China!

I arrived in China on Tuesday night- so it was Tuesday morning for most of you reading this.  It is very different here.  I am not in a big city like Beijing or Shanghai.  I am in a big industrial city, out in the rural parts of China.  And I would imagine it is quite different.

I have been recording all of my thoughts as I have them, because I don't want to forget anything.  I am here on business, but there have been quite a few car rides that have given me the opportunity to see different areas.

It's pretty much a stream of consciousness.  Enjoy!

Made it to Hong Kong.  My driver does not speak english, and it is hotter than hell.  Definitely a shock when I stepped out of the airport.  In Michigan, we build up to these types of temperatures and high humidity… But coming here was like a slap in the face.

Currently driving on the wrong side of the road, but on the correct (for US) side of the car.  I can't see anything.  There are trees blocking any sort of views from the roadway.

Palm trees.  Mountains?  I really wish it was daylight.  It looks so beautiful.  I will know on the way home.

Also- note to self: Hong Kong immigration officers do not smile or say hello (I did anyway)

An entire truck on fire.  Burning rubber.  Never seen that before…

So I still can't believe I am in China.  Alone.  Doing this all by myself.  I'm fortunate to have these experiences!

Now we are back on the right side of the road!  It switches here.  Something smells….

Driving is so different in the day.  There are no lanes (well there are but they must just be for decoration), it is a free for all.  They all honk to let others know they are there.  They must not use their mirrors.  But it is pretty amazing the way everything works in this chaotic yet cooperative way.  You think you are going to hit someone, or someone is going to hit you, but then they stop.  Or you do.  And they just pull out in front of each other, or get so close as if to mark their spot.

So hot. So so hot.  Went into the factory, and it was treacherous.  I don't know how those people stand in there every day in the blistering heat.  I need a shower already (10-11am).  I can't remember the last time i've sweat this much in such a short amount of time.  I'm sure it is all because of the humidity.  It was blue sky this morning and I thought, "oh, not much smog today".  Wrong, the sky is more and more yellow/grey as the day goes on and the heat builds.  Probably a thunderstorm this afternoon.  It is that time of year.

So everyone sleeps at their desks after lunch… and I need the restroom….hmm.  1:30pm- they play a song (similar to Taps) over the loud speaker to wake everyone up.  Very controlled.  I wonder if they have this to wake up in the morning too (they have dormitories a few floors up from their offices)

Let's just take a minute to talk about the toilets.  I forgot about this minor detail, and just had a real shock when I walked into the WC (water closet).  They are in the floor.  Oh, but they have plumbing.  2 things- Don't step in the toilet, and don't pee on yourself.  That is all. 

They use bamboo scaffolding still (everything is under construction), all the workers appear to wear Croc-like shoes.

I like riding in the car best, lots to see, and of course it is a thrill.

So far I have had traditional Chinese, Thai, and Korean food.  The Chinese food is good, but not much flavor (I like the way they prepare the tofu and they have eggs that are like an omelet).  I think I have liked the Thai food the best. It closely resembles the Chinese food we have in America (in some ways). The Korean food was really spicy, but there were a few things I liked.  However, dog meat was on the menu and that threw me a little.  And then of course, a dog escaped from the back of the restaurant.  It was little, but meaty.  It had a collar on, however, I couldn't help but wonder if it was tomorrow's special. Poor thing was cute. 

I got to experience a Chinese massage and it was so relaxing. The woman told me I was too tense, but that I had nice skin lol.  She twisted and yanked on me and got my back to crack in ways I didn't know possible. It felt so good. 

My chop stick skills are on par according to my colleagues. They were quite impressed by my form. They have adapted to a different way of holding them for ease and comfort. I didn't know that there were different chop sticks for different countries. Korea has flat ones that are really heavy- hard to use. Japan's are short and thick and really pointy at the end- also hard to use. So the Chinese and Thai ones have been the best. I can even pick up a peanut! (I was told most of them just use a fork for those lol)

Had Japanese food for dinner tonight! It was all very good. I'm really enjoying trying all of the food. The company was great too 😉

Just a few more days and I will be on my way home! There might be another post from my quick visit to Hong Kong tomorrow. 

That Hospital Feeling…

** This was written Thursday evening.  Unsure of what Friday would bring

Hi Friends, I'm glad to be here.  Logging in is like a breath of fresh air, getting these thoughts out.

Hospitals are necessary (and good).  But regardless of why you are there, there is always a nervous air about.  Whether it's passing a man who wears a nervous smile in the cafeteria (he's getting coffee and about to become a dad), or loved ones huddled together, faces damp.  Or maybe you're going for news… good news, bad news.  I can't help but feel uneasy every time I walk into a hospital.

I was in one today.  I tried to notice people and their demeanor, something to take my mind off of everything else.  And I attempted a half smile at people I made eye contact with.  There was a trend, exhaustion and nervousness.  You can know someone all your life, go to see them in a hospital and have no idea what to say.  I have this problem.  Don't get too close (for fear of bumping something or breaking something), don't pry (even though I would love to know what the heck is really going on), and heaven forbid I can remember anything at all to talk about that is normal and from the outside world.  Because all that really matters is your person, and the fact that they are in this place when it's not where they belong (except the maternity ward-I like to believe that's mostly a happy place).

I really struggled for a while going to hospitals and doctor's offices.  Anxiety, like the kind where the room closes in and you better put your head between your legs or you're going to end up on the floor.  I did ok tonight, though.

Hospitals are good places.  We are born in them usually.  But it's kind of crazy that so much of the life cycle can happen right under one roof.

I've never dealt with the loss of an immediate family member.  I've lost great aunts and uncles which was hard.  And too many young people i've known, have been taken too soon.  But I think I might be there now.  Staring someone I love's death right in the face.  Watching, as it takes a loved one's last breath.  About to go through it, because I can't let it stop me and I can't stop it.  I've always tried to have a "positive" (I don't know what else to call it, death is never positive) outlook on death.  To focus on the amazing memories and know they are no longer in pain or suffering.  It's an unfortunate fact of our existence.  We won't be here forever.  We will see new loved ones enter this precious life, and we will see others go to the next.  Nobody wants to see anyone suffer, but it can be tough when it all happens so fast.

I guess all you can do is hope for the best and try to face reality.

Peace of Mind Designs: Grand Opening!

You guys!  I have something very exciting to share with you!  But first, let me say….

I have always wanted to start my own business showcasing my art and designs.  I already have a small freelance business with a few clients, but wanted to create goods that anyone could buy and use.  I can't tell you how many concepts and ideas that I have come up with, but have abandoned somewhere along the road to "small business success".  I think the thing that has been holding me back is this idea in my head that I had to create, produce, market, and sell every item all on my own.  I love creating the designs and making things by hand, but all of the past ideas seemed to stop at the production part.  I always became overwhelmed at that point because I never knew how I was going to make all of the goods in order to sell them by myself.

I have decided to focus on creating beautiful designs and being a good shop owner.

I would like to introduce you to Peace of Mind Designs, my new shop featuring my designs printed on tees, tanks, mugs, and totes!  I will be adding new items frequently and will always be working on creating new design collections.

I have chosen high quality goods that are all made in the United States and sweatshop free, and the printing is done here in the US too!

The debut designs are all hand drawn Mandalas.  Mandala is Sanskrit for "Circle" and symbolizes unity and harmony.  All of my designs and goods will promote a peaceful and meaningful lifestyle.

I can't wait to see where this journey takes me and I am so grateful for your support!  As always, if you have any feedback, or would like to see a certain product please don't hesitate to contact me!  If you would like to sell Peace of Mind Designs in your own shop or studio, please contact me for information on placing larger orders (and for customization).

I will be posting updates on Facebook (go like the page!) and you can get behind-the-scenes peeks on my Instagram (@snuggs22).  There is also a new button in the menu on my blog that will take you to the storefront, or click the button on the right side!

Now go check out the goods!