Small Thoughts: 3

My little brother taught me something recently (I don't think he even realized it).  There is a level of love and acceptance that is coming from people his age that should be noted.

We often try to one-up each others experiences, or tell others that what they have done/experienced is "nothing compared to...".  Why do we do this?

I often find myself observing and listening to conversations, rather than participating.  A young man had mentioned his experience with sailing and how he had only been a few times- nothing major.  But he said he really enjoyed it and couldn't wait to go more.  The older, saltier adults of the group proceeded to tell this young man that what he had done so far was nothing - that his sailing experiences couldn't compare.  Out of all the people sitting there - cruisers, racers - my brother probably had the most experience.  But regardless, I watched as he embraced this young mans exposure to sailing.  Not trying to diminish his story, but told him to keep going and experiencing it.  

My brother taught me that it's not about how much you've done something, or where you've done something.  It's that you're out there doing it and experiencing new things.  Seeing the light from a different angle and embracing each others stories from where they are at and where they've started could be a game changer for the way we treat each other.

Be encouraging, not discouraging.

Small Thoughts: 2

I'm sitting here in my car writing this… yes, my wifi reaches to the driveway!  I didn't want to let these thoughts get away from me.

I'm sure we've all had close calls.  Quick moments that we wish wouldn't have happened, even though, thankfully nothing really did happen.  But it almost did and it would have been really, really bad.  I get mad at myself that something could have happened, the what-ifs (especially if it would have been my fault).  I always have to remind myself to let it go.  It's ok, we're ok.

Someone was watching out for me…

It can be hard not to get upset or mad when there is almost an accident, the adrenaline gets pumping and you start to think of all the awful repercussions.  But you have to stop, tell yourself none of that is going to happen because everything is fine.

Move on.  Let it go.

Falling...

I love fall.  There are so many beautiful changes -- color, temperature, new school year for the kiddos, bon fires, and pumpkin flavored everything.  I've always loved fall, going from shorts to warm sweaters and boots, the desire to bake and cook savory, comforting foods.

For the last month I have been going so hard that I've been missing out on the little things.  I've been rushing through life, instead of taking the time to slow down and notice.

A couple weeks ago I was very busy and feeling really stressed from having to constantly working so I didn't fall behind.  It was a Thursday evening and I had worked until 4 at my day job, took an hour to myself to go climb with a friend (which relieved no stress at all), flew home to continue working until 8pm.  I then cleaned the house so that it wasn't left a mess for the weekend, and when I was finally able to try and stop for the night I realized the dog hadn't been walked -- or rather I was reminded by my darling partner that the dog hadn't been walked (to his defense he had just walked in the door as well)… I threw on some shoes, and walked the dog… walking fast and pissed (because I really just wanted to sit my ass on the couch)… so fast I got a blister.  I realized as I rounded the corner towards my house, that I had spent the entire walk feeling mad and hurried.  When I could have been enjoying the darkness of the night and feeling the cool air on my face.  I could have used the time to unwind and relax- take a leisurely stroll around the neighborhood and spend time in silence.  But instead I rushed though it, when really I had nothing that important to get home to.  I was so wrapped up in all the stress that had started to consume my life that I forgot to slow down.

Things have since gotten better, the stress is lessening.  I woke up this morning wanting to stay home.  Spend my day sewing, cooking, and catching up on all the projects I have put off for way too long.  I woke up telling myself, "oh you don't feel good, you should stay home".  But then I heard my parents, "suck it up, it's all in your head.  You're fine".  And really, I was fine- I was just looking for a good excuse to stay home.  Because taking a personal day to "just have time to myself" doesn't seem like that good of a reason in my book.  So I went to work.

It's hard to stop and take time for myself, to do the things I want to do.  There are so many other things that seem to take priority (and I don't even have kids!).  Work, housekeeping, making sure others are happy.  I can't take care of all of those things though if I can't make time to take care of myself…

I need an extra day… one more day in the weekend, just for me.

Goodnight, Dreamer

Spent one last weekend in Northern Michigan for the end of our sailing season.  We made the annual trek back to North Port to have the boat hauled out and stored for the winter.

I look forward to it at the end of each season.  All four of us together.  Lots of work to be done, but we all get to be together and enjoy each others good company.

It's always cold when we sail across the bay this time of year.  This time the waves were 2-4 feet and the wind was blowing at 20 knots the whole way.  We ran a straight shot from Elk Rapids, on a broad reach.  Double reefed the main and flew the Solent sail (which is the most amazing sail in the world- wrap me in it when I die) for a smooth ride.  

We made it to North Port in record time.  Strolled up to our favorite restaurant for dinner and drinks once we arrived... oh, but only after we drove a million miles for a new heater.

We walked up to Lelu's (if you haven't been there you should go- it is well worth the drive up the peninsula) and were welcomed like family.  We spent the night eating, drinking, and sharing stories with old and new friends.

One of the topics of discussion was why people always come back to Northern Michigan, or why people are drawn there.  Several discussed the pull of the 45th parallel.  Others remarked on the atmosphere and different mindsets.  For me, traveling the 4 hours north seems to satisfy the wanderlust.  There is no other place on earth (in my opinion) that offers what Northern Michigan does.  Unbelievably blue fresh water, incredible landscapes, boating, camping; there really is something for every season and everyone.  The way the leaves change in the fall, and how the gray sky reflects on the water.  There is nothing like it.

I'll always go back.

Until next year, rest easy Dreamer.

Wanderlust

I always have the right words in the moment for a great blog post.  By the time I have time to sit down and actually write it, it doesn't sound so great anymore.

I spent this past weekend with my dad, up north for one final weekend on the boat.  This weekend we have to pull it out for the winter.  We spent our time together talking about what we want to do and our dreams, and who we want to experience those dreams with.  It was good, healthy conversation that lead to immense amounts of wanderlust.  We both have the desire to take to the sea and just go.  But we both have things holding us here.  Mine?  School debt- I asked him if he thought being "forced" to live on a boat at sea would be a valid reason for debt forgiveness, as I would have no stable income.  If I told them it was really my only option… he laughed, but I was dead serious.

To leave this life and live a life of adventure sounds pretty good right now.  Go off the grid, figure out a way to be untraceable.  Sounds nice right?  The boat is named Dreamer for a reason.

Saturday, we spent most of the day on the water.  We only had wind for about an hour, so we mainly floated around.  It was hot, summer had finally showed up.  We chatted and schemed and told each other to stop convincing one another that just taking off and forgetting everything was such a good idea… even though it is.  We used the auto-pilot for a majority of the time, which left us both free to roam about the deck.

He was at the bow, and I at the stern.  Both lost in thought.  I'm pretty sure I was thinking of this post, composed of beautiful thoughts and words.  Loosing myself in the depth of the water, unable to see the bottom.

Perhaps we're never supposed to see the bottom.  It isn't up to us to determine what will be.  There is a bigger picture, determined by a bigger power.  These things in life, including the things I feel are holding me back, are happening for a reason.  This is my sequence and what will be, will be.

The waves were soft and the clouds wispy and light.  It was a perfect day to dream.

The dreams are what keep us afloat.

Small Thoughts: 1

This morning I woke up feeling so grateful. A nice change from the stress and negative feelings I've been overcome by lately.

What are you feeling grateful for today?

A Little Kindness Goes A Long Way

Growing up, my mother always said to kill with kindness.  This is no easy task.  Sometimes it is so much easier to be grumpy and angry.  

When someone treats you poorly or a situation doesn't go as planned, it can be so easy to reciprocate with the same attitude or tone.  But is it really worth the energy and stress of getting mad?  Kill them with kindness instead.  Think of what this could do to our interactions with those we know and love.  Even bigger, our interactions with strangers.  We live in such a fearful and negative society.  I truly believe that the world can change if we change the way we interact with and treat people, regardless of the situation.  We need to show more compassion and care for each other, because nobody truly knows another persons current situation. 

I think about this all the time when I am in the car.  How do you think auto accidents happen?  People are so wrapped up in themselves and where they need to be that they forget there are other people around them, or get mad when someone is in their way.  This applies to situations a lot bigger than just driving...we go through life focusing on annoyances and being self-absorbed, instead of being understanding. We have to start viewing situations differently. 

I used to think that "forcing" yourself to be kind and happy towards people when you really didn't feel like it was fake and insincere. That's not what it's about though... Sure we all have bad days, but in order to turn those bad days around we have to choose to find the good and be happy.  Choosing to be happy and kind towards others is a lot more rewarding, and before you know it you'll find yourself happy all the time, and the kindness will spread.  Think of how our worlds would change if we stopped approaching "inconvenient" situations with anger, and started dealing with them with a caring and compassionate attitude...

Happiness and kindness really are easier. 

I can only hope that this doesn't sound preachy. That it will reach at least one person and help to change their perspective. 

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I often find myself wanting to write here but don't feel that what I have to say will provide a lengthy enough post.  

I am going to start a series of "Small Thoughts".  These posts will consist of insights, ideas, or thought provoking questions by me... I usually think of these things in the shower or on my morning/evening commute--the most inconvenient times to write something down, of course.  Please feel free to leave your comments and opinions on the matters.  Who knows- it might inspire a longer post!