A Letter to My 16 Year Old Self

I began a writing challenge today (see the new section!). 30 days of writing, every day. I'm pretty excited, but filled with some anxieties as well.  I thought a lot about this letter before I started to write it, afraid of missing something important (because it's a big deal writing to your former self).  I forced myself to stop worrying and pick up the pen.

*A letter to my 16 (going on 17) year old self. I was a junior in high school.

Dear Sara,

Such a good kid, always playing by the rules. How's your first relationship going? It's been over a year since mom and dad got divorced. Look at how strong you've been through the whole thing! I want you to know that crying is not a sign of weakness. It's ok if you don't cry now, because you will eventually- A Lot! I know he doesn't say it much, but he still loves you and always will. Talk to him- your fears, questions, and anger matter.

I wish I could protect you and warn you from all of the things to come. But let me tell you what I've learned:

I know you're close to moving away to college, taking your first steps into adulthood....

On Love- Know the difference between love and lust- it will make all the difference, and I know you will figure it out quick. Love is not about receiving. It's about giving from your own "stash" of love that you have for yourself, and hoping it comes back around (and if it doesn't, well at least you love yourself first). If you always love yourself- truly and deeply- you can love another person. Follow your heart and use your intellect, and stick to your guns. Oh, and please don't sleep with too many people.

On Friendship- The friends you have now won't be the same ones you have in 10 years. Heartbreaking, right? Yea, a little. People come and go and you'll always have memories and good times. Hold onto those, they are worth all the time you spent making them. Even if the friendship fades, don't lose the memories. I know it will be hard, but please try not to let a guy come between you and your BFFs. If you do, just learn from the mistake and try to find a balance. Nurture the friendships you have at any given time in your life. There will be times where you feel friendless and alone – just remember someone else is feeling the same way. Reach out to people! And you always have your little brother, don't ever take him for granted (no matter how much he bugs you, it's just because he loves you).

On Money & Things- You don't need all the stuff you think you do. Trust me, you will spend the better part of your twenties trying to simplify. And when it comes to borrowing money for school, because that's what you're going to have to do, only take enough for tuition! Figure out the rest some other way.

On Career Choices- You are going to be great at whatever you do! Let me save you a few bucks and several years by letting you in on a secret – you want to be a creator and designer, a maker and writer. Don't worry about always feeling like you haven't made the right choice, you're a dreamer and your veins are filled with wanderlust. Be confident in your decisions and give it your all. Fill your time with meaningful doings and thoughts, and never give up.

On Life- Live for you, today! Money, marriage, kids, etc., don't bring happiness (and please don't do the latter two just because everyone else is...). You have to choose to be happy! No matter how dark the days seem, it's not as bad as you think. Despite what everyone tells you, I know you will do life your own way and live and learn. Mom and dad will cringe (hell, you'll probably look back and cringe too), but you will turn out ok. Better than ok.

I have a lot of respect for you dear 16 year old Sara. We've always had our head on pretty straight. I could write to you forever, but always remember:

Love yourself, choose happiness, be creative, and live a simple and honest life. And watch out for those boys :)

I love you to the moon and back,
Your Older Self


If you've never done an exercise like this, you should.

Small Thoughts 7: Life Resolutions

I'm not calling these "new year's resolutions"... I'm calling them Life resolutions.  Less pressure.

I wasn't going to post my goals for 2015 and beyond; but if I don't, then how will anyone ever know if I actually did them!?  Accountability, people (and self discipline - which should be a list of it's own).

The first check box is a book that was introduced to me by my dad that guides you in using your intellect to control your mind (emotions) and knowledge (in a nutshell- see, I need to read it again).  It's a quick read full of great methods of living your life Self-aware and controlling what has an impact.

My goal is to live more simply and to go through life with a kind and calm demeanor.  More patience on the road, and less swearing.

I wrote this back at the beginning of December.  I figured, why wait.  I am in a new role at work and it's good to start out strong and be able to stay strong.  I have already checked the regain confidence box, but it's always a work-in-progress.

Those quotes are good too.  Love the Ziggy Marley one.  So often we say "I love you" but it isn't backed by actions, or it just becomes an empty habit.  I had a hard time with this when I was younger.  The words provide the validation that we seek from those around us, but really we should be paying more attention to what we are doing and what others are showing us.

And da Vinci... well he was pretty much awesome.... so excuse me while I go happen to things.

I'll try to write more about the things on my list as I tackle them.  It's a win-win.  More blog posts for you to read, and I get to actually stick to some life resolutions.

Small Thoughts 6: Living in a Haze

I'm going to skip all the New Years stuff... I'd say the rest of you have covered it.  My goal is to live simple and be happy.  I'll figure it out as I go.

I haven't had coffee the past three days.  Last night I slept fast. Morning came too soon.  Either lack of coffee, or sleeping in my old bed due to Luke having a cold and snoring all night.  I'm not sure.  But today I can barely keep my eyes open.  I feel exhausted.  I took vitamins and a B complex to try and wake up.  But all I want to do is crawl back into bed.  I need to move, but there is nothing to do.  So here I sit.  I thought things were going to be different?  When will the pace pick up?

To me it seems boring - my everyday life.  But maybe it's my thoughts that will be interesting.  Like above- any interest? Or totally boring?  I guess those weren't really thoughts, but more of a sleepy stream of somewhat-consciousness.

I have every intention of eating clean and making it a habit, hence the no coffee... but last night's ranch, pasta concoction wasn't quite hitting the mark... huh.

Also, I think I'm done with the Facebook.  So if you want to keep reading these, ya better subscribe.  Or you can find me on Instagram @snuggs22.  I'll try to be more present there, more than I am on Facebook anyway.

Small Thoughts 5: A Neat Dining Experience

Luke and I went out to eat last night.  We went to Griffin Claw Brewing Company in Birmingham.  I have been wanting to check it out for awhile and it was great!

The tap room has communal seating, which they let you know before you even walk in the door.  So where ever you sit there is a chance that you will be sitting with strangers or that someone will join you.

Well, you know how this usually goes.  Everyone sits so they don't have to talk to anyone other than the person/people they came with (that is if they aren't on their phone the entire time).

We chose to sit in the front corner at a fairly large round table- certainly able to hold more than two people.  We watched the snow fall outside and enjoyed our beers and food.  As we were finishing, the hostess came over and asked if we minded if a couple joined us.  Of course we said they were welcome - that's the whole point of this restaurant anyways, besides the beer.  What was already a great night turned even better as we introduced ourselves to complete strangers and engaged in great conversation.  More of their friends showed up filling the table.  We only had a few sips of beer left, so we finished up and left them to their night out and passed on the table.

As we left, Luke thanked the hostess for having the communal seating.  She thanked him for being a good sport about it.  I laughed... They must have a problem with people being able to sit with strangers and enjoy a meal (way to go America).  It was great to enjoy our time together and also be able to chat with new people.

We will definitely be going back and recommending that others visit with an open mind!

A Hard Life Lesson

I know it's early, but it's here.  The snow has been really beautiful the last few days.  Large fluffy flakes slowly falling from the sky.  I love the first snow fall, it's so romantic.  And the silence that the snow brings is so relaxing.  I got home last night as the snow was coming down hard, after having a lousy day I rustled my crew and we went on a long walk to enjoy the beauty and take in some fresh air.  

I think one of the hardest lessons to learn in life is that we can't change people.  So many times we feel the need to address a situation by telling people how they are- or telling them how they made you feel, or that their behavior makes them look bad (hoping by telling them that they will change for the better).  Truth is- No one can make you feel any way and people aren't going to change unless they choose to.  This one is hard for me, especially when I notice negative things that don't truly reflect who I think a person is.  Wouldn't you want me to tell you if you were acting or saying things that didn't make you look good?  Well, I hate to say it, all too often you end up telling someone until you are blue in the face, and it just doesn't matter.  You can't change anyone.  The only thing you can control is the way you respond and conduct yourself.  It's hard, really hard.  Especially when you believe that your intentions to help are good by saying something.

I've always been a fixer, wanting to help people be better versions of themselves because I know it's there... under the surface of the hurt, or sadness, or aggressiveness.  But I'm learning that it's not for me to fix.  If someone wants to act a certain way, that is their choice.  I need to be focusing all of my energies on how to effectively handle and react on my end.  I am the only one I can control.  And it's so much easier to make my decisions based on me and not based around how other's choose to behave.

I saw this yesterday.  Franki Elliot is a writer/poet that travels with her typewriter and writes poems for people on the spot, based on a word or phrase they give her.  She is amazing.  (And this is just credit where credit is due... nothing official - I just really like what she has to say)

And so I did just that.

Enjoy the snow.

Small Thoughts 4: To Know Your Worth

Knowing your worth is one thing, but being told you are actually worth that is a total game changer. (And I'm not just talking money worth)

Whatever your job is - teacher, artist, mother, CEO - You want to know you are valued and appreciated.  It can be really difficult to do the work you love with passion if you are feeling the opposite.  For me, I feel the need to stray.  To look for new opportunities where I will matter and find satisfaction.  When we start to feel unhappy we look for the place/things that will change that.

To know that others value you as much as you know you are worth, is a great feeling.

I hope you know you matter.

Making Excuses

Awhile back I convinced myself that I no longer liked running. I have run on and off my entire life.  Never been much for competitive running or races, just running for myself.  Always seemed like the easiest way for me to stay in shape.

But I had decided I didn't like running anymore.  That it was boring, too much work to get ready.  Oh, and the dog… I take her because otherwise I feel guilty- but she is a royal pain in the ass when she is on a leash (and we are trying, so very hard to break her… but its not working).  It's much easier to not go for a run.

All really, really good excuses why not to run.

But honestly, it only takes 5 minutes to get ready, and the dog is stuck in the house all day, so she needs some fun too (even if she is an idiot).  And yes, it is boring - even with music, because I choose to take the same route over and over again…

I need to change it up.  Being outside is really a lot better than staring at a wall and running on a treadmill (and paying gobs of money for a gym membership), or sitting on the couch staring at the tv.

I chose to suck it up and go for a run yesterday.  It was short, but I did it.  I made the effort to take time for myself before I went back to working for the evening.  And I didn't feel bad about it.  I am my own boss and it's ok to take time for myself before I do anything for anyone else.  Because what good am I to others if I'm no good to myself? 

I wrote this about a week ago and I haven't gone for a run since :) Maybe I'll go today